Like a Geo Metro in the winter....I'm pathetically sputtering.

#994


On a more personal not-so-awesome note.....when i sweat like a dirty russian in a sweatbox hole of a home. This heat and humidity truly shows how attractive the general public, including myself, really are on these gorgeous summer days. Foreheads shining, like headlights beaming upon that deer frozen in the middle of the highway. I'm surprised we don't all walk into one another as the glistening skulls can be seem for an atmospheric level.

It is ridiculous, and I hope it ends soon promptly.




Also, in regards to a constant not-so-awesome thing....when someone that I care the world of is on the other side of it. It is difficult, requires the utmost of patience (which I have never inhabited, this house of patience) and goes for an extensive period of time. As the days slowly slip by it is just one more calandered X closer to her homecoming, albeit a brief 3-month period, and to the time when I will be enveloped with uncontrollable glee. Words cannot describe how excited I will be when I get to see her again. I am giddy as I sit here pounding out the words on my keyboard.


***To take an opposing stance against my own self-proclaimed pessimistic blog, this weekend is Pride & I couldn't be more ready for an AWESOME weekend. (Hypocritical: see my usage of the word awesome) That is all.

I am heaven sent, don't you dare forget...

#995


This is not-so-awesome, yet in a hypocritically awesome listed format:

- the cost of Red Bull (ridiculous, i need my beverage like a crack addict needs a hit *cue whitney houston...bobbay!)

- myself not sharing life with you

- thunderstorms so severe that the booms knock multiple items off of my walls at home & lightning comes through the
outlets in my bedroom a-glowin'

- having to pretend to be 'busy' at work when in fact we are so slow that it compares to that of watching a comatose
patient in a hospital & expecting him to get up & do a jig

- people who call me a 'grandma' simply because i am not out every fucking weeknight until the wee hours of the
morning. (sorry, i have a career to work at. get a job, grow up & fuck off)

- how i long to get another tattoo but lack $$. as it is a need that will never be fulfilled no matter how many i have.

- that both of my roommates will be moving out relatively close to one another this fall....that means i'm FUCKED.

- once again, my inability to be able to acquire a second job, part-time. ugh.

- my jealousy at those that work but do not have student loans. thus, their mountain of free $$ to do with as they wish.



There are things in my head that I wish I could say, could do, to show you who I am now. I wish I could fill you with a sense of security, of trust, to let you know that I want everything in the world for you, the best of the best. Fuck.....

Cut & dry, like your grandma's bread.

#996

Lets keep this simple. I want a second job, and it's really not-so-awesome how much luck I am NOT having fulfilling that. I don't think it helps that I have a couple of strikes against me in terms of already working a full-time 8 to 5 job, and that since the economy went into the shitter, much like an elderly woman entering a porta-potty at a park, it isn't coming out of that for quite a time. Damn. But if you think about it, I am just one of how many millions of people in a similar predicament. Except they don't already have a job. Is it greedy I want to work more and could potentially be taking away an open job spot from someone who actually needs it more than I? The world is a terribly unfair and biased place. God bless America. (Ugh, nausea ensues.)

Why can't I just be a rep for Red Bull? We have such a good relationship, Red Bull and I. Red Bull fulfills my void of happiness and in turn I fulfill what it wants, me face-raping the can and drinking it oh-so-promptly x 3 or x 4 cans a day. I think I will start saving the cans I drink and will thus place myself in the record books as the girls that drank herself into a Red Bull induced coma. Joy.

A different time.

#997

There are a few not-so-awesome things today. To start off with, my monumental FAIL at writing frequently. It isn't even once weekly, it's almost once monthly. Tragic. Go fail-bree go!

Anyways,

I realized today that when I amp up for garage sales (which I tend to do in the summer on Saturday mornings) I particularly do not like when I head out, redbull in hand, music at a deafening decibel, only to come across sales engorged in children's clothing/toys/diapers/furniture/heads (not really)/etc.  That is the most successful waste of my time I could possibly venture into; searching out the sales, finding them, driving up to them....and there is the mountain of shiteous children's items. Ugh. Fuck. (Reference: this morning at 9 a.m.)

On to the next....

I've been at home contemplating that which passes through my brain...so pretty much everything. I was looking at two photos on the wall in my house and realized that A. it was a better time in life then, and B. I miss this day and wish I could re-live the feeling I had at 3 a.m. that very late night/early next morning over and over and over....

...don't you know that when you stand, you stand up for the both of us.

This way.

#998

The up's & down's of my emotions. The way I am feeling right now. This is not-so-awesome.

Something else that is not-so-awesome, the reality of my knowing that I don't think I can maintain feeling this way for much longer anymore...

Just..stop.

I am my own fail.

#999

When I have a blog, and then I completely slack for almost a month on posting. That is not-so-awesome. Way to go bree, you are the not-so-awesome thing right now; not posting on my beloved blog. Damn.

Anyways.

I was at half-price yesterday & I found the most amazing book. It's entitled 'Courier & Ives: Printmakers to the American People.' It's incredible. It dates from the '40's, there is heaven all over the cover in terms of amazing typographical usage, and every plate photo inside is terrific. The best $3 I've ever spent. I'm also on my third Super Lion ($1 energy drink from Cub from the foreign foods section) & it puts me in such a good mood.

Also, I've never had anyone ask me this, but I think when someone asks you 'What's good?' instead of 'How's it going?' or 'What's up?' is ................ (you fill in the blank with whatever word, but I know what word(s) I'd use)

All in all, I'm not-so-awesome for not posting FOREVER. Damn bree, damn.

e-mail fail.

#1000

You log onto the internet. You navigate to your e-mail provider; username & password entered. You aren't directed to your inbox, oh no, you are presented with a message simply stating 'Server is too busy.' Wtf?! Why?! No reason is given. Just, I'm too busy, sorry. Not-so-awesome.